I received a phone call at 6:30 am this morning. Now I keep my phone on almost all the time with instructions to people in the program they can call me any time day or night in a crisis.
This morning’s call wasn’t someone who wanted a drink or even in a real crisis. It was a friend who had forgotten the time difference. She noticed she had woken me up. I told her I would call her again later. And hung up.
Now this friend is a very dear friend who is moving to my state in the near future. She is getting nervous about all the change. She has been calling me several times a day.
At the same time, I have been very busy getting ready for the writers conference I am going to in a week and a half. It is getting in a time crunch when I have to stop several times a day to deal with one of my friend’s problems.
Today I was told I need to set boundaries with her and the time I spend on the phone with her. I really want to help my friend to receive the care and help that I have. I want her to achieve the recovery that I have.
On the other hand, as it was expressed to me, I can’t let her become a pile to me. Her problems per se. So I am going to start limiting the number of phone calls I have with her a day.
Right now I have two dozen irons in the fire and juggling a dozen plates at the same time – or so it seems to me right now. I know it isn’t, but that is my perception today.
So I am going to start to set boundaries. Boundaries are something that I never learned as a child. I have had to learn them as an adult.
Where have you had to set boundaries in your life?