Acceptance is a biggie in my life. It is what keeps me going in my recovery – both mentally and in my recovery from alcoholism. I have to accept what life throws at me or I will end up relapsing.
I found out yesterday morning that my mother was put in the nursing home Monday morning, then put in the hospital from there. She is not doing well.
Back around the holidays she had been very sick. We didn’t know if she would make it through the holidays, but then she started ralleying after being put on thyroid medication. Now she has taken another turn for the worse again. This time, I think it will be the last one.
I live 2500 miles from my mother. The last time I saw her was for about 10 minutes at my daughter’s wedding. I was stuck outside for over 1 1/2 hrs taking pictures while my mother ate, then left to go home. I was a little upset that I didn’t get to visit with her. I rarely get to go to Texas because of the expense of travel.
But I had to let it go.
Now this… I call her frequently. I always let her know I love her. Always.
We have not always had a great relationship. But God blessed us in restoring our relationship during the last 25 yrs. I have enjoyed a wonderful time getting to know my mother again as an adult. She made some mistakes. I forgave. We started over. No one is perfect.
Now my mother is dying. That is hard to face. But we almost lost her 12 years ago before my son was born. So we had 12 extra years that we didn’t plan on. I am thankful for that. My son got to know his granny.
I know that I will be able to handle this as another step in my recovery. I handled my friend dying. I will handle this. This is just harder. Except we know this is happening. Death is never easy.
We are planning on going down to see her on spring break. I hope she makes it that long. This is one time that I really hate the restraints that school puts on your time.
I am sure that others have gone through this. What have you done in handling the death of a parent or loved one?